life

"promise yourself, no matter how difficult the problem life throws at you, that you will try as hard as you can to help yourself. You acknowledge that sometimes your efforts to help yourself may not result in success, as often being properly rewarded is not in your control."
(astrid)

everybody has their ebbtide
and me, my life is in a down side now
i have known when i'm in the heap life, someday, somewhere, my life will falling down
i'm thinking of it n draw up to fascinating
but the fact is not easier than i thought

it's hurting me to see the one that i really loves than myself usually cries every day, every night

it makes me sick to see the important person in my life get hectic with their works than enjoy their life
it makes me cry to know what my parents have to do to makes my life perfect, but i have no nothing to do for them
it makes me sad to feel a friends of mine had soo many tragedy (even i cant imagine) in their youth life
it makes me struck to know there's so many people out there will do anything to survive their life
sadly
i have too much thinking about others until i recognize my life was pretty destructive
no matter how i try so hard to be better, at the end the lamp just turn on and turn off again
when i'm in a fire to arrange my future, fastly i have no passion with that
when i'm happy having more time to care my self, i know that appearance is bullshit
no interest with education, nor career, nor arts,nor social life
everything just come very fast, continously, in my last important year,until i have no idea what the first thing i must finish it
need a person to share, ears to listen,mouth to give advice,shoulder to berth,hands to hold tight my hand and transfering power
but everybody has their dramatical life, n i dont wanna incubus them
i must handle on my own. i have to be strong.faced it. and stand up
cause everything must cover & ended with a smile