What if i never know you. IF ... U could back the time, u can change ur life, if regret is not enough. Im begging you god, for every single pray that i've done. I always asked youfor this, and i never ever change this prayer. I need ur help bod, i need ur kindness, ur miracle. What i' ve donein ka'bah, hajar aswad, mecca, madinah, masjidil haram everytime i pray on you, i always asked you this. One pray u cant accept, i stillcan smile. But the most important things in my life, you didnt accept. I believe ur excistency god, i believe on You. But what youve done for me, is more than enuf. First you take away the love, and then u take away the pride. What i have now? What still i have now?

great words

- i got this kind of words on astrid's fb, enjoy fellas!-

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway

one of my friend

its kinda hard to describe this feeling

when i go back to the place where i can be my self

a place where no one judge me

a place called home

one our family has fly away

to reach her dream

her future

like the other of us

i lost my java jazz friends for about 5 years

really miss u risa

Oh godd

HECTIC

summative on friday

LSD assignment

java jazz pactice aditya

jjf practice Elfa's

jjf practice fotf

elfa's perform for imlek

i just can't handle myself

god pls help meeeeeeeee

pengen triak

first month of my new life

:)

one a good friends of mine

is actually so hard to be closed with me. i'm not the kind person that everybody can catch up and have fun w it. but one of the biggest guy in my high school -that i actually dont know who he is- can be so closed with me. he's name is hans. hans sanjaya. down to earth and humble person. the real kind person that i can found on this fake days.patient & funny even sometimes his jokes are not funny at all. but when u closed w this person, u will know that he is honest.

perkenalan saya dengannya berasal dari dunia per-chatting-an. saat itu ia meng-add saya, lalu saya men chat dia karena mmg ada urusan yang ingin ditanyakan. entah sejak kapan kami tiba2 menjadi teman chatting. we can chat from nite till morning. topik yang dibahas bermacam2, mulai dari gosip, bisnis, politik, sampai cerita2 aneh dari orang awkward seperti saya. he always cheer me up when i got frustated about the final exam, about getting into college. on that day, most of my story it's about frustation. and when i accepted into medical college, he is the first friends that i told. karna mmg saat itu saya lagi di bandung sementara pulsa mahal dan di msn yg lagi online hanya dia, jadi yang saya beritahu pertama kali adalah dia.

setelah masuk ke dalam dunia kuliahpun omongan saya juga tidak jauh dari hal hal suram. memang pada dasarnya kehidupan saya suram, atau sayalah yang membuat suram? well, i dont know. bayangkan saja ada orang yang mau dibangunin pagi2, di smsin, diajak ngerjain tugas sampe jam 12 am hanya untuk nge googlingin, cari link, nge formatin, bantuin tugas mabim, dll. komputer saya mmg sama sekali tidak dapat diharapkan, hancur total. dan dia melakukannya tanpa ada maksud terselubung ataupun pamrih (as far as i know ya, hahahaha, moga2 emg bener2 tulus). dia mendengarkan berbagai pikiran2 liberal dan aneh saya. dari masalah pernikahan, homosexual, idealisme busuk lainnya . menanggapi omongan saya yang cenderung sarkastik, mencemooh, dan tanpa basa basi sebagai bahan guyonan. salah satunya adalah menjulukinya sebagai 'ottaku'

kali terakhir kami bersenang senang adalah ketika dia saya dan sissy (orang yang saya baru bisa ngobrol stlh lulus sma) lunch di sebuah tempat. dan tadi setelah saya terakhir kali bertemu dengannya untuk 4 tahun kedepan, there are something missing. tidak ada lagi yang online di msn saya dan bs diajak ngobrol sampai pagi. tidak ada lagi yang bisa dimintain tolong bantuin bikin tugas. tidak ada lagi yang membantu menjual barang barang saya di kaskus. dan tidak ada lagi yang menanggapi ke absurdan dan pikiran aneh saya.

so with full of my respect

i'd like to say to may good friend,

hanzo, hansoii, shogun, etc etc.

jangan lupa dengan rencana membuat agency model orang2 rusia

jalan2 lagi setelah memiliki appearance yg udh di permak shgga bs menjadi pajangan

semoga kita sukses dengan jalur masing2

walaupun saya tidak yakin sukses dengan jalur saya saat ini

take care

grateful

saatnya bersyukur dan mengoptimalkan apa yang sudah di punya:

1. orangtua. wlpn ga perfect, their always behind me. dua org inilah yg paling menerima saya apa adanya
2. musicality. karna musiklah saya bisa mencapai hal hal yg blm pernah saya bayangkan sebelumnya. ini semua juga berkat orgtua yg sdh mensupport saya
3. friends. jujur, sulit memang u bs berteman dan memahami saya. tp mrk2 yg sdh jadi teman saya selama ini mmg teman2 yg baik. smg seterusnya hub kita berjalan baik.
4. college. saya semakin sadar atas apa yg saya dapat skrg mmg harus diperjuangkan. terlalu manja kl hanya memikirkan mslh2 kecil. saya disini untuk berjuang. kl berjuang mmg sdh jadi makanan saya sehari2, apa mau dikata. klpun seumur hidup saya ttp berjuang, setidaknya saya mempunyai kebanggaan bagi diri sendiri.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY SWEET 18TH TO ME

Wishes:

selalu inget Allah, rajin solat, sayang ortu, pelan2 jd anak sholeh,punya ortu yg slalu rukun damai sejahtera, sehat sentosa,rejeki lancar,kuliah lancar, bs jd dokter yg baik, dunia permusikan makin lancar, rejeki banyak, ga tll jutek lagi, ramah, bs ngobrol sm smua org, jd org arif, bisa nari luwes, sabar, ga sombong, punya badannya Giselle Bundchen, mukanya Monica Belluci, punya temen yg bener2 baik yg banyak, punya suami tampangnya kaya Takeshi Kaneshiro, baik & pintar cari duit :)

amiiiin

in the realm of...

there are two kind of person. one got their privilage since they was born bcos the family background, in other way got the privilage w their education or successful or their marriage. i see some people grow up w their privilage based on their family. and this kind of person may get a good education and a happily marriage to increase their prestige status. don't be jealous of that fate, cos it just throw u into a condition that u can respect urself anymore. yea some people must struggle to get their status, but we can blame god for this. just think this is just their luck.

human will be a human. don't deny that we easily get impresed by human appearance. this is make so many people transforming their self into a person that they wish or like, n it's called "make over". most of this situation happened w girl. just take an example, in a elementary even junior high school some of girl defend their self as a tomboy. u dont really care about ur skin, ur face, ur WEIGHT, n ur stuff. as a time goes by, in high school maybe, u see that u have so many beautiful friends, n realize that people are more interesting talk to someone who have an A+ in every aspect. since that u take care ur skin from any pimples, shining up ur hair, use whitening cream, buy any magz for fashion inspiration, etc. u become better and better and show any of ur ability. people are more attracting to u. say hi when u walk even u dont know who they are, some of the guy flirting to u, their listening what u talk, respect to u, and everybody wants to be ur friend. u right up to the hip, u become on top. but then smthg happen. u feel tired w that spotlite, dismay, n empty. u predicted what will be happen if u losing ur charm, ur ability, u have soo many pimples, fat, n ur loosing material stuff. are they still act nice to u? n u realize all that u need are just a family who always support u, n a real friends who approve what u are & always be there for u.

ALHAMDULILLAHI ROBBIL ALAMIN YA ALLAH TUHANKU MAHA BESAR

I GOT PENDIDIKAN DOKTER UNIVERSITAS INDONESIA

YA ALLAH TRIMA KASIH.

TRIMAKASIH MAMA & AYAH.

TRIMAKASIH ATAS DOA TEMAN2.

LULUSKAN UAN SAYA YA ALLAH

beautiful places in Indonesia

gr2 kmrn msnan sm temen ngomongin kuliner di indonesia, trs blog walking ke anin ngliat review ttg pulau2 di indo, sy jd mau posting ini. there are some place in Indonesia that i really adore dan pengeeeeeeen banget kesana. ada juga sih yg udh pnh dikunjungi, tp msh pgn balik lagi kesana.

1. BALI

apa lagi yg hrs di review ttg bali?? tooo much memory in here. not just an ordinary memory, tp bener2 memory masa lampau. my friend's wedding & voto2 di sepanjang kuta (udh pnh di posting), white party di ku de ta, seafood di jimbaran, tattoo temporary di kuta (hahha),warung made, shopping shopping shopping, tanah lot, sunset drink, diving, candra ayu, serai club, pat mase, too many to describe.

skrg sepertinya sudah mengalami renovasi total dan jadi sgt bagus

kalau anda sedang jalan2 dikuta pasti ngelewatin hotel ALAM KUL KUL. why this so memorable?? krn itu waktu jaman 80an ternyata punya kakek(alm) saya, namanya dulu adalah CANDRA AYU. ibu sy kl ngelewatin tempat ini slalu aja crita. " dulu tuh yg jd chefnya yangti (baca: nenek) sendiri, trs mama sm yg lain2 (yangti punya anak 11) ikut bantu2in jaga hotel " lalu nenek sy pernah cerita "dulu yangti pernah bikin red&white porridge (baca:bubur merah putih) trs di campur wine, dan jd best seller dessert dsn" trs kl lagi kumpul2 kluarga pasti pd cerita2 ttg memori waktu ms tinggal di bali, ttg pegawai2nya yg aneh2, tamu2nya, sampai hal2 mistis kaya Candra Ayu dulu pernah di datengin Leak (hantu bali). hotel ini di jual ketika kakek saya sakit, sehingga tempatnya udh ga begitu keurus. dulu dijualnya ke org bali, tp stlh itu di jual lg ke org asing dan jadilah Kul Kul ini.

2. Manado-Bunaken
Bunaken adalah tempat yg sgt ingin saya kunjungi. diving or snorkling disana , naik boat, dll. oiya tdk lupa u menyicipi ikan bakar rica2 langsung dari manado dengan sambal dabu dabu nya. ikan di manado harganya sangatlah murah, sewaktu tante saya yg tinggal disana dan ia dtg ke jakarta, ia membawa ikan banyak sekali krn ktnya harganya murah. doakan sy agar tahun ini bs kesn,amiin.3. NTB-Pulau Moyo

pulau moyo sangat pas u anda yg ingin honeymoon. semuanya ms sgt alami. dari air terjunnya yg indah, pantainya,dll.very recomended. konon mick jagger sm princess diana pernah nginep di slh satu hotelnya yaitu Amanwana.

4. Malang-Bromo
gr2 liat voto2 tmn saya di bromo, sy jd tertarik ksn. lucu seperti hamparan padang pasir , trs bs naik kuda keliling2, sunset nya jg indah dilihat dr sini.
5. Papua - Raja Ampat
yg ini adalah rekomendasi dr teman saya, tp benar saja tempatnya indah sekali. kaya akan spesies2 tumbuhan baru dan binatang2nya. tp sayangnya, wilayah ini mengalami longsor di bawah lautnya yg cukup luas sehingga rawan akan bencana seperti gempa dan tsunami.

hilangnya hp

saya sedang kehilangan hp kemaren. tepatnya IPhone 8 GB. begini rekapitulasinya..

pd mlm hari sy sedang menjemput ibu saya dr praktek, lalu sy memakai hp itu u nelvon mama mau ngabarin kl udh sampai. setelah itu kami (ayah, ibu, saya, + supir) langsung pulang kerumah. sesampainya dirumah, saya turun terlebih dahulu dr mobil, disusul ibu saya, lalu ayah, dan si driver turun u membuka pagar garasi, dan stlh mobil masuk iapun menutup pagar itu kembali. 15-20 menit kemudian ketika sedang dikamar, sy mau menelvon orang. dicari2 dikamar hp itu tdk ada, ayah sy pun menelpon ttp tdk ada yg mengangkat. lalu ayah cari dimobil juga g ada. stlh itu sypun memanggilsupir sy u mencari hp itu, namun ia sedang makan disebrang rumah.stlh slesei mkn ia pun mencari, tp jg tdk ada. pencarian dihentikan dgn harapan kl pagi lebih terang dan lebih kliatan kl tnyt keselip selip. namun tetap tidak ada, disitulah saya pasrah.

perkiraan

1. hp itu tertinggal di mobil, lalu ada 'oknum' yg mengambilnya. bkn maksud menuduh, ttp yg pasti tdk mungkin orangtua saya.

2. hp itu terjatuh waktu sy turun dr mobil, lalu ada org lewat dan mengambil hp itu.
tetapi analisanya:

-ukuran hp itu cukup besar u dapat dirasakan ada benda yg terjatuh
-stlh sy turun dr mbl, orgtua sypun turun, dan si 'oknum' tsb jg cukup lama berada di sekitar tempat kejadian, paling tidak mreka bisa melihat kl benda itu jatuh
-u org biasa mgkn mrk tdkmengira kl itu hp krn bentuknya aneh ( hanya berbentuk persegi panjang tanpa tombol), tp kl org yg sdh tau/sering melihat sy mmkai itu u menelpon pasti tau kl itu hp

yg bikin nyesek, disitu ada nomer2 dan sms2 sgt penting serta recording yg sangat sy butuhkan dalam waktu2 dekat ini. :'(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

CARA MIA

things adores me

songs that played in my mind over and over again

LA VIE EN ROSE-originally by EDITH PIAF

La Vie En Rose

Des Yeux Qui Font Baisser Les Miens

Un Rire Qui Se Perd Sur Sa Bouche

Voila Le Portrait Sans Retouche

De L'homme Auguel J'appartiens

Quand Il Me Prend Dans Ses Bras,

Il Me Parle Tout Bas

Je Vois La Vie En Rose,

Il Me Dit Des Mots D'amour

Das Mots De Tous Les Jours,

Et Ca Me Fait Quelques Choses Il Est Entre Dans Mon Coeur,

Une Part De Bonheur

Dont Je Connais La Cause, C'est Lui Pour

Moi, Moi Pour Lui Dans La Vie

Il Me L'a Dit,L'a Jure Pour La Vie,

Et Des Que Je L'apercois

Alors Je Sens En Moi, Mon Coeur Qui Bat...

Des Nuits D'amour A Plus Finir

Un Grand Bonheur Qui Prend Sa Place

Les Ennuis, Des Chagrins S'effacent

Heureux, Heureux A En Mourir

Hold me close and hold me fast

The magic spell you cast

This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs

And tho I close my eyes

I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart

Im in a world apartA world where roses bloom

And when you speak...angels sing from above

Everyday words seem...to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me

And life will always be

La vie en rose

i want her body badly. that's the reason i took my yoga class, besides emg badan sy udh tambah besar. i know it sounds impossible. tp g ada salahnya kan biar bs jadi motivasi.



mgkn udh ketinggalan jaman, but i just watched love me if u dare and i really really love it. played by marion cotillard (who won her 1st oscar on her role in La Vie En Rose) and the charming Guillaume Canet (Diane Kruger ex-husband) dan gossip yg beredar they're in the crush now :) this movie soundtrack called La Vie En Rose by Edith Piaf, which my fav song ever.

my activity

so i passed my school exam today, cos i have to do some general check up at the hospital. tdnya berencana mau balik k slklh lagi, berhubung check upnya lama finally i made another plan. around 2 pm i took my first Yoga class at RUMAH YOGA. it absolutely interesting. baru 20 menit pertama gw udh basah kuyup. atmospherenya mendukung bgt, u can smell frangipani aromatherapy d stiap sudut, class roomnya berdominasi purple, which is my fav colour. bathroomnya jg bersih, pelayanannya bagus. instrukturnya baik dan ramah sekali. gerakannya susah banget dan ada backsound ethnic gt, ada gerakan melayang layangnya, trs nahan badan, nyium lutut, which is very hard for me. tp stlh ngelakuin gerakan sulit itu, sensasinya kerasa banget. di jam selanjutnya adalah saatnya rileksasi, kt dsuruh tiduran dan dtutup matanya sambil meregangkan smua sendi, melepas smua pikiran, dan merasakan sensasi latian td. usai relaksasi kita berlanjut ke gerakan 'namaste', lalu pernafasan, dan terakir bersila dan merapatkan tangan ala tabib sambil megeluarkan suara seperti bernyanyi. berbeda dgn jazz hip hop dance or aerobic yg pnh saya ikuti, yoga jauh lebih kalem. tp kalori yg dibakar jg tdk kalah. kl di olahraga lain bs bikin ngos2an, di yoga anda akan terasa ngos2an saat menahan/menarik tubuh, tp tdk separah olhraga lain. yg menjadi point saya adalah step2nya dan atmosphere yg diciptakan. bhubung sy sgt suka dgn hal2 sejenis aromatherapy, nuansa purple yg memberi kesan misterius dan seductive, meditasi, dll. yoga memberi kesegaran mind body and soul anda.

stlh itu saya menjemput ibu saya dr kantor dan kami pergi u potong rambut. stlh browsing internet dan bertanya teman sy pun menuju k tempat ini. hairstylistnya adalah ganteng sekali. kl suka dgn film2 asia, pasti anda suka yg satu ini. tampangnya bkn asia cantik gt, ini beneran ok. dress stylenya dia jg japanesse skali, tp bkn yg banyak aksesorisnya gt. ttp simple tp edgy.ok enough for him,hahaha. salonnya sgt cozy w good quality service dan alat2nya. sebenernya sy bkn org yg tll sensitif dgn salon, salon2 sy sebelumnya hanya salon2 standard.treatment u rambutpun juga terbilang jarang, paling2 hanya creambath, itupun kl sempat. tp entah knp belum lama ini tercetus keinginan untuk lbh memanjakan diri,hahaha. mgkn pmbalasan stlh uan.

Jay Kay 8th April

Tomorrow i will perform w DIMI & Fullhouse as THE OPENING ACT of JAMIROQUAI concert in Jakarta. so, let's take a time and forget about Simak, Uan, etc. Let's call it the nite!

InsyaAllah Dimi will be the opening act of Jamiroquai concert in Jakarta. it will be 0n April, 8th. that means bentar lagi gw akan ujian nasional! argghhh what should i do?? i have so many things to do practice, study, arggh desperado mode on :'(

big decision

i made a big decision. jd saya tlah melepaskan Scolarship IT Binus demi mengejar FK. smoga ini keputusan terbaik dan sy bisa dpt fkui, hiks hiks hiks. amiin

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tadinya kalimat yg sy pos cm sampe segitu aja, lalu sy blogwalking sebentar dan membaca blog almamater saya. yang terjadi adalah sy langsung takut. apakah benar keputusan sy ini ? tdnya saya sempat mikir, kl mau kerja kan g harus jadi dokter. lagipula melihat peringkat lowongan kerja di Tempo dan IT berada di nmr 4, dgn gaji sarjana muda yg sangat menjanjikan membuat sy smkn tertarik. tp stlh beberapa kali merenung, saya kembali ingat. dari balita sampai skrg kalo ditanya apa cita citanya, salah satunya adalah dokter. dari sekian banyak cita2 yg selalu berganti ganti tiap tahunnya, dokter terus sy sebutkan. sy bukan anak2 yg sangat belajar seperti teman2 sklh sya kebanyakan. di semester 1 aja, di saat para penggila fk sdh mempersiapkan diri, sy masih sempat2nya senang2. semester 2 pun, meskipun sdh lebih serius ttp dirasa blm maksimal. saya berpikir, udahlah klpun skrg ngoyo pasti jg ttp kalah sm yang lain. saya jg berpikir, klpun ada faktor X pasti juga Allah akan memilih org2 itu dibanding saya. sy udh g ada semangat untuk ikut tes2 lain, jujur saya capek secara lahir dan batin. tp setelah dipikir pikir, knp sy harus stuck ditengah jalan, knp hrs menyerah sementara ms bnyk tes yg dpt sy ikuti? semudah itukah sy menyerahkan impian yg dr dulu sy inginkan?

quiz result

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

IS IT ME???HAHAHAHAHA

my confession

yesterday, i watched Confessions of a Sophaholic with my mom. Isla Fisher is a great actress, she has a natural humor. ada bbrp hal d film itu yg jg menjadi hal2 yg gw anut sjk lama.

i think buy a classic outfit (shoes, bag,etc) is one of my invesment. dont u know , buy a designer bag, it's like when ur parents buy a gold for invesment. u can sell ur outfit kl udh bosen or ada keperluan lain dgn harga jual yg ms ttp tinggi. banyak loh org2 yg jual their second branded stuff dgn harga jual lmyn tinggi dan ttp laku. jd g slh kl itu disebut salah satu investasi.

i love shopping, but i just a teenager who still dont have so much money to buy that stuff. i'm not a sophaholic yg akut sperti tokoh utamanya dan orang2 d therapy itu. but one that knew, if i have a bad day, shopping it's my physical treatment, tentunya harga barang yg dibeli ttp terjangkau u anak muda. another my guilty pleasure is go to my fav branded store n see the new season of that brand. hal itu bs memanjakan mata & menenangkan pikiran. but neither w the price yg tentunya blm sanggup u gw bli, hahaha. so all that i can do just see, and feel the material of that stuff sambil berpikir, apakah nanti pas udh gede gw bs bli barang2 ini?hahaha... satu barang aja bs buat bayar uang kuliah 1 semester, bahkan lebih. believe it or not this treatment work for me. mood gw bs menjadi lbh baik hanya dgn cuci mata seperti ini. i know it's cheesy and embarassing,hahahahah. but it's fun! :D

if u have seen the movie, remember the dress yg dia pake waktu interview, purple ruffle dress yg di match sm YSL coat. several months ago, i made a black dress for JJF yg inspirasinya gw ambil dr Vogue magazine. dsn ada YSL mini dress in red color dgn ruffle yg sama dgn yg di pk Isla Fisher. tp gw cm ngambil bagian atasnya aja dan gw bikin lbh tipis, bcos i'm fat, jd kl rufflenya tll banyak bkin badan gw tambah besar.

remember when she's looking a tuxedo for Luke in Prada store? dia milih kemeja warna soft pink, and said that she likes a men in pink. when i saw that i just can smile, akhirnya i found the one that agree with me. for me, a man who has a good taste n good appearance, only if he can wear pink clothes and still looks manly and charming. that's why i had love at the first sight w Chuck Bass (gossip girl). omaigod he can wear pink sweater, orange coat, white suit, and still looks gorgeous. i melt w this character. many of my friends said that it's like a gay. but who cares??!! i still in love w this guy.